{"id":3,"date":"2011-06-22T06:08:30","date_gmt":"2011-06-22T12:08:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/marlatomazin.com\/blog\/?p=3"},"modified":"2013-02-08T09:53:02","modified_gmt":"2013-02-08T15:53:02","slug":"so-how-are-you-striking-the-balance-between-%e2%80%9creal%e2%80%9d-and-%e2%80%9crant%e2%80%9d","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marlatomazin.com\/?p=3","title":{"rendered":"So, How Are You?: Striking the Balance Between \u201cReal\u201d and \u201cRant\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Think about it: When you run into someone you haven\u2019t seen in a while (whether it\u2019s been a month or a day!) or even when you meet someone new, what do you say? Chances are, you stick with the tried-and-true \u201cHi, how are you?\u201d (For most of us, it\u2019s sheer reflex.)<\/p>\n

Usually, the answer to this old standby is short and sweet. In fact, we generally expect <\/em>a reply along the lines of \u201cVery well, thank you.\u201d Sometimes, though, a friend or acquaintance can go into a lot more depth about how her day is progressing\u2014no matter how good or bad that might be! And (let\u2019s face it) it\u2019s those<\/em> people, the ones who detail how tired, busy, or just plain bad-off they are, who can really make you regret asking at all. And what most people fail to realize is that your answer to this very simple question will either draw people in or scare them away.<\/p>\n

The lesson here is clear: When you\u2019re on the answering end, try not to respond to \u201cHow are you?\u201d in a negative manner. (This is especially important with new acquaintances\u2014first impressions are a big deal.) Responding negatively presents you in a less-than-ideal light and gives people the sense that you\u2019re a real drag. And if you do it often enough, people just might stop asking you how things are going altogether (and start avoiding you instead).<\/p>\n

The next time someone inquires about your day, challenge yourself to be real without<\/em> descending into a pit of negativity. Use it as an opportunity to further that connection, rather than as a chance to dump your own personal problems on someone else. And yes, you can do that without being ultra-sweet, as I\u2019ve noticed some women feel the need to do. Believe me, it\u2019s completely possible to put a positive spin on an answer that\u2019s still honest. Here are a few examples:<\/p>\n

Busy, busy! <\/strong> It\u2019s a given that most of us are busier than ever. Our calendars are so full that we barely have time to blink. But that doesn\u2019t mean others want to hear the details of your schedule! In fact, turning into a verbal datebook may come off as a venting session and give the impression that you\u2019re really too<\/em> busy to talk. Believe me, I know\u2014I\u2019m so busy planning my wedding that I have to put a little effort into making sure I\u2019m not unintentionally sending out busy vibes when I\u2019m telling others about my day. Here are some fun ways to respond to those how-are-yous<\/em> the next time you\u2019re feeling the urge to complain about how busy you are:<\/p>\n