Finding Balance in Your Life—and Making Peace with It

Over the past several months, we have journeyed together to find a place of greater balance. We have taken a closer look at important life areas, or “balance zones” that greatly impact your overall well-being, such as your physical and emotional health, career and finances, and relationships. My hope is that this has been a time of transformation for you. By paying attention to the details that may easily slip by when we are rushed or distracted, we can start making choices that help us grow. And the best thing about this kind of progress is that it builds upon itself and empowers you to reach for your goals with greater confidence. What a fantastic way to start the new year!

This leads us to the final installment of Finding Balance in Your Life—and Making Peace with It.This month’s topic focuses on my favorite subject matter: revealing the true you through fashion and style.

Balance Zone #5 Style & Image

Your image is important, and your wardrobe is a major part of your image. Clothes and accessories don’t just convey your fashion preferences and possibly the type of work you do; they also subtly share the way you feel about yourself and reflect your mood and outlook on life. This is why I am a firm believer in dressing beautifully every day. Your outfit each day is a reflection of you, and it should reflect your inherent beauty. So even on the days you feel uninspired, under-rested, or just plain “blah,” wearing a look you love can have an uplifting and revitalizing effect.

However, when your wardrobe is a disorganized “mess” (in every sense of the word), it’s much harder to show the world who you truly are. Likewise, it is difficult to feel energized and optimistic wearing clothing that you merely tolerate rather than love. Further, when this area is out of balance, daily chaos ensures. For example: You have a closet full of clothes…but nothing to wear. You shop frequently…but you don’t like your purchases once you get them home. Your clothes no longer fit…but you keep them “just in case.” You struggle daily to keep your closet neat and tidy.

You get the picture. Thankfully, sharpening your image and bringing your wardrobe into balance is fun and easy when you take the right steps. Here are some tips and habits to help you discover your personal style, optimize your clothing, and create winning looks that will bring out your best self every day.

Start with a closet and dresser audit. First, set aside time to take a deeper look at your clothing and accessories. The point of this audit is not to determine the neatness or messiness of your clothing—we’ll get to that later. It is to discover larger themes you notice in your current wardrobe and identify changes you would like to make. For example: Do you have too many of some items (like black pants or t-shirts, for example)? Are there obvious gaps in certain types of clothing (for example, you have plenty of work clothes but fewer fun looks for nights and weekends)? Are there certain items that you feel you have “outgrown” or are just tired of wearing? These kinds of questions give you an idea of what kind of action is needed.

Remove items that no longer belong. One of my favorite fashion rules is to always dress for your current age and stage. Personal style preferences tend to evolve as you grow older and wiser. That means you are likely to accumulate a number of items over the years that no longer match the person you are today. For example, if you have been on the corporate career track for years, you may no longer need so many t-shirts and “boyfriend” jeans. Or maybe it’s time to get rid of those clothes that you wore two sizes (and two decades) ago that no longer fit comfortably. And it is definitely time to get rid of clothing that no longer makes you feel joy when you wear it.

During your closet audit (or at a later time), pull out the pieces that no longer belong and donate them. And remember: The best-dressed women ruthlessly edit their closets. By removing pieces that don’t work, you create space for new clothes that reveal the real you.

Shop with a plan. Your audit should give you plenty of ideas about what you need and want. While you should always be open to finding unexpected surprises when shopping, it’s best to go in with an idea of what you’re looking for, whether it is the perfect blazer, or a pair of wear-with-everything boots, or an easy day-to-nighttime dress. Plan to spend the majority of your time searching for the items on your list. Once you are finished, you can window shop to your heart’s content.

Spend more on less. There’s no denying it: Higher-quality clothing is going to be more expensive. Another fact: You get what you pay for. Sticker shock can be painful and may discourage some from buying nicer pieces, but well-made clothes fit better, look better, and last longer. Think of it this way: For the same price that you could buy five or six pairs of cheap jeans that fit poorly, sag and stretch, and last about a year (if you’re lucky), you can buy one or two pairs of quality jeans that retain their shape and can be worn for years before needing to be replaced. You may discover that treating yourself to high-quality clothing is actually a bargain! Not only will you save money in the long run, you will also save time since you won’t need to repeatedly shop for the same pieces.

Make a schedule for keeping your closet clean. Your closet will become cluttered and messy over time unless you routinely tidy it up. At least once a quarter, schedule an in-depth closet audit and cleanout. Swap out seasonal clothing; identify pieces that need to be repaired, tailored, or dry cleaned; and donate anything you haven’t worn in a year.

In between these sessions, take time to retrieve items fallen to the floor, straighten purses and accessories, corral random empty hangers, and pull out any off-season items that belong in deep storage until the following year. A little routine tidying will help you feel more organized and less stressed when deciding what to wear each day.

Take advantage of column dressing. Once your closet is nicely stocked and tidy, it’s time to maximize your style. Another favorite piece of advice—which I pass on to all of my clients—is to give column dressing a try. This is where you create a long and lean column by wearing the same color head to toe and offset it with a contrasting color. It’s a no-fail way to build an outfit that flatters you and looks great. These are the steps to column dressing:

• Step one: Choose a monochromatic base color. The first layer of your look should consist of a top and bottom (or a dress) in a single color. For example, a black skirt and top or navy slacks and a navy blouse. This creates the column, which lengthens your frame and adds to a slim silhouette.
• Step two: Top your column with a contrasting layer. This could be a blazer, a cardigan, a leather jacket, or even a nicely draped pashmina. 
• Step three: Add an extra WOW element. Elevate your look with the right accessories. This could be an eye-catching bag, a bold necklace, a great pair of sunglasses, or the perfect pair of earrings.

Use a tailor to perfect your garments. Hopefully by now you are committed to buying higher-quality clothing. Having your wardrobe custom tailored is the final step in turning a good fit into a great fit. Tailoring makes pieces appear as if they were made just for you. Not only will your clothes look and wear better once tailored, they will also make you look several pounds thinner. Choose two or three garments that don’t quite fit perfectly and take them to a tailor. (Ask around for recommendations if you don’t know of a good one.) You’ll be amazed by how different you look and feel when your pants and skirts are hemmed to the appropriate length and when your blouses and dresses hug your curves perfectly!

“Get dressed” even when you’re home alone. Instead of throwing on tattered sweatpants and an ill-fitting t-shirt when you’ll be staying in for the day, invest in a few decent-looking casual, comfortable outfits. Not only will it give you a psychological lift (it’s healthy to look good for YOU, not just other people), if you have to run out to go to the grocers, you won’t need to “get dressed” first or worry about running into someone you know.

Commit to wearing nice shoes most of the time. Yes, sneakers are often the most comfortable footwear option, but you can easily fall into a style rut if you wear them every day. On the other hand, a slightly dressier shoe like a ballet flat, loafer, or boot dramatically elevates your look—even when you’re wearing a casual outfit such as jeans and a basic top. The good news is, footwear comfort has come a long way, and most quality brands are quite cushiony today. Aim to wear a dressier flat-style shoe (or a sensible heel if the need arises) most days and enjoy your cute fashion sneakers on days when you plan to do a lot of walking.

Work out in style. If you are sticking to your New Year’s resolution to get in more workouts, treat yourself to some new activewear. Having one or two cute new outfits will help motivate you to go to the gym or take a walk around your neighborhood. While you’re at it, make sure you have the essentials you need for getting into shape. Every woman needs a well-made pair of leggings or joggers, a supportive sports bra, a workout tank or tee, comfortable sneakers, and a lightweight zip-up jacket for outdoor exercise. And as always, take a look at your existing fitness wear and move on anything that is worn out or no longer satisfies your needs.

Put together a few go-to looks. We don’t always have time to build a great outfit from the ground up. That’s why it’s a great idea to put together a few fabulous looks—fully accessorized down to your bag, jewelry, and even your outerwear—that you can recreate anytime you’re in a rush. This approach saves the day when you receive a last-minute dinner or party invitation or learn of a surprise work meeting. You should have at least one casual daytime look, one dressy daytime look, one nighttime look, and a business casual look for work. When fully dressed, snap a photo of yourself and store it in your phone. It will serve as a digital Look Book when you have just ten minutes to dress and get out the door.

Need some expert help getting started? Invest in yourself! Whether you are stuck in a rut, unsure of what styles look best on you, or need help finding pieces that reflect who you are today, an expert can give you the nurture and expertise you need. Image consultants excel at assessing the colors, cuts, and styles that accentuate your best features. In my capacity as an image consultant and personal stylist, I can help you define the image you wish to project, streamline and organize your closet, and shop for quality pieces that reflect your image and make you feel like the best version of yourself. Contact me anytime at marla@marlatomazin.com.

Remember, you don’t have to achieve closet and image perfection overnight. Finding balance in this area is about checking in with yourself; assessing what works and what does not; and making small, achievable, and sustainable changes that build your confidence and happiness over time. Even one small step—whether it is rescuing a few wrinkled sweaters from the back of your closet or finding a place to hang the perfect overcoat you discovered after months of searching—is a move in the right direction. So relax, have fun, and stay beautifully you, always.