Making Healthy Changes When the World Is Changing Around Us —and Making Peace with It

If there is one constant theme that each of us has had to deal with during the COVID-19 pandemic, it is that coming to accept change is the only thing we can count on. The pandemic has thrust upon us new routines, new fears and worries, and a host of uncertainty as our world continues to undergo massive economic, social, and health-related changes. Most of us are now required to work from home and have to address the question as to whether we will either be told by our employers to continue to do so or have a choice in the matter once the pandemic passes. Travel has come to a halt and we have no idea when we can again plan a business or family trip. For more than half of all Americans, economic survival is a primary concern.  

Just because you aren’t on the front lines or aren’t facing economic harm, doesn’t mean you haven’t been impacted.Life has changed forever, and the physical and emotional toll impacts us all. Not only that, but we are all experiencing the stress of the unknowns and uncertainties as to how life will look as we, our families, our friends, and our nation move forward. But what has not changed is that our personal strength lies in how we handle challenges such as these.

I would like to share some of my recent personal experiences and observances to emphasize the importance of caring for yourself during these strange times. Here’s the recap: In March Barry and I moved to Long Island and started our quarantine. Although I could no longer meet clients in person, I kept up with my usual “intense schedule.” I filled my days with a regimented schedule of exercise, making home-cooked meals, staying in close touch with friends and family, and doing laundry and cleaning.

At some point in early April I realized that, aside from the occasional morning meditation, I had not allowed myself much “personal downtime.” I kept up this pace until I experienced a day or two of symptoms that could mean a cold was coming. At that point I took a long afternoon nap and started the regimen that I use to head off a cold. My health recovered quickly, and all was well for a while.

Then in early May, after a stressful period of doing far more cooking than was necessary, I woke up one morning and could not move my left arm. As many of you know I had my right shoulder replaced in 2016, and my left shoulder has always been questionable despite my efforts to do daily exercise, stretching, and physical therapy to keep it healthy. Now, I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but this was alarming. Both Barry and a close friend urged me to see a surgeon just to get it checked out. I called and the doctor’s office told me they were just starting to see patients the following week; so I made an appointment.

Meanwhile, I tried to rest my body as best I could. But then the next morning I saw a flash in my eyes and then brown diagonal lines appeared in my vision. By now I was thoroughly freaked out! This was something new. The ophthalmologist I called thought I was having an ocular migraine, but those don’t run in my family, so it was very puzzling. Finally, my ophthalmologist suggested I see a friend of his at NYU Medical Center, a retina specialist who was seeing patients. I was fortunate to get an appointment for the same day I would be seeing the shoulder surgeon.

Physical challenges are stressful in normal times, but during a pandemic the stakes are even higher. Visiting the doctor required me to get my temperature taken at both appointments prior to checking in and I was happy to comply with their request to wear a mask.

The retina specialist was warm and caring. After the examination, it was revealed, to my relief, that I did not have a torn or detached retina. But the specialist did diagnose me with a vitreous detachment, which takes a thorough Google search to somewhat understand that it was expected to correct itself over the next several weeks. One appointment down, one to go!

At my visit with the shoulder surgeon, the x-ray showed more deterioration. However, my range of motion was fairly good that day, so of course, surgery wasn’t an option. Nor did I get a steroid injection as the surgeon suggested against it since I was still able to sleep despite the pain. Unfortunately, the next day I was in terrible pain once again. For now, I am taking Advil to manage the inflammation and paying closer attention to exercises that may be irritating my shoulder.

So, you may ask, “What, if any, silver lining could be drawn from these experiences? After much reflection, and several lengthy discussions with Barry, I realized that the universe was clearly sending me a message: “Slow down!” I’ve heard it loud and clear and I am now taking it to heart. I have learned that there is no need during these unusual times to push myself in the same intense way I have done for most of my life. In my case, I came to realize that patterns I could trace back to my childhood have been difficult to overcome. It was instilled in me from an early age to always be “accomplishing” and “doing.” But, as I have come to realize, this is the time to focus more on “being” and treating myself with kindness. This means that, in these “new normal” times, we need to identify how to step back from old routines that may not be relevant to our current lives.

Now, read on for my self-care tips to help you cope with the stress and anxiety that comes with periods of change and uncertainty.

Check in with yourself daily (or more often). These are stressful times and it is normal to be consciously or unconsciously struggling right now. You don’t need to take your emotional temperature every five minutes but take a few moments each day to check in with yourself and see how you’re doing. Notice if you feel tense or relaxed. Are you calm or irritable, and what is the reason(s) for this state of mind? If you notice tension or anxiety, take steps to relax. It will only build and become a bigger problem if you ignore it.

Pause and take some deep breaths. Your newfound awareness may reveal that you are more stressed than you realized. A little light meditation is a great way clear your mind and get into the present moment. Meditation is surprisingly easy and can take as much or little time as you wish. In fact, as little as sixty seconds can get you results. Close your eyes and follow the breath as it travels in through your nose and down through your lungs into your belly. Gently exhale and repeat. While you are breathing be aware of your thoughts as they pass by. Think of them as clouds that drift past a blue patch of sky. Don’t attach to them, just let them be. The best thing about this exercise is that you can do it anyplace, anytime. You may wish to try the Headspace app, at www.headspace.com/ny for a free chance to experience several meditations or the Calm app at www.calm.com.

Control what you can control. Years ago, my husband told me that he learned an important lesson about staying in the moment when he gave up worrying about any problem that was outside his own control. Instead of going crazy worrying about all the things you can’t control right now (including everything outside of yourself), focus only on things you can control. For example: your mood, how you treat others, the food you eat, the amount of sleep, exercise, and sunshine you get, etc. Why stay in an anxious state when you can get on a Zoom call and comfort (or get comfort from) and old friend or family member?

Take breaks from the news and your social media newsfeed. You don’t have to boycott your television and other devices altogether, but don’t fixate or obsess over headlines, social media rants, and the latest heartbreaking world developments. Again, those things are outside of your control. While it is important to stay informed, try to set appropriate boundaries so you are not suffering 24-7. In the free time you just created you might call a friend, go for a walk, do a puzzle, or enjoy your favorite funny movie. 

Give yourself PLENTY of downtime…no “busyness” allowed! You don’t have to be a whirlwind of activity all the time, especially not right now. If you previously commuted to your job recognize that you have added several hours to each workday and that you have no current need to primp and prepare for your daily commute. If you tend to stay busy all the time, ask yourself why. You may realize that you are masking worry and anxiety with chores, projects, and tasks. It’s understandable, but it could also backfire on you. Over the past few weeks, I have learned that the world did not come to an end when I did not accomplish “as much as I could.” I have allowed myself to sit in the garden enjoying the warm weather, reading a book, taking in the trees, green grass, and blue sky. Give slowing down a try and see if it enhances your enjoyment of life.

Stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water seems like such an easy thing to do, yet many people stay partially dehydrated and then they wonder why they feel tired, cranky, or headachy. Challenge yourself to drink the recommended eight glasses of water each day and notice if you feel better. Drinking enough water helps you better manage stress, stay energized, and it keeps your body running smoothly. But the trick lies in remembering to do it! Start your morning with a large glass of cool or tepid water when you wake up and then continue to sip throughout the day. Add lemon, lime, or cucumber slices, herbal tea infusions, or fresh fruit to keep things interesting!

Make an effort to get outdoors. We’ve already touched on this but try to spend some time in nature every day. It’s too easy to stay cooped up in your home right now when what you need is some sunshine and fresh air to boost your mood and keep you healthy. Take an early morning walk or bike ride in the park. Have dinner on your balcony or porch and watch the sunset while you dine. Read a book outdoors.

Be kind and gentle with yourself. It’s perfectly okay if you are only surviving instead of thriving, right now. This is not the time to berate yourself for eating too many comfort foods and working out too little. It is not the time to judge yourself harshly for failing to use your quarantine time to write that new novel, or learn to code, or study a new language. If you feel motivated to do those things with the extra time on your hands, great. But your main priority during challenging moments should be taking good care of yourself.

Remember…things WILL get better. Even though the whole world is going through a difficult time right now, remind yourself that it won’t always be this way. It can be hard to remember this when you’re in the thick of things. But sooner or later the pandemic will end, and things will get easier. For now, keep telling yourself, “During times of stress in my life I came to realize that these difficult times do pass,” and “This is temporary, and I have done several meaningful activities today.”

We are all going through this time together, and it is important to realize that those who may not show it may be suffering. Slow down and be good to yourself and others right now. Do less. Love more. Be grateful for what you have. And be hopeful that a better day is coming soon.

This is what I am working on. What have you learned about yourself during the quarantine? I look forward to reading your insights in the comments!