What I Learned About Living My Best Life from Spending a Weekend in the Hamptons with Marla Tomazin

By Dottie DeHart

I had long been hoping to take my good friends Marla and Barry up on their offer to come up for a weekend at their Hamptons home. But as a small business owner and mother of four kids, it’s hard to get away. After several invites, we were finally able to make it work and off I headed for an unforgettable weekend.

Of course the Hamptons are amazing, and Marla and Barry’s home is an incredible and most relaxing place to while away a summer weekend, but the real treat is what you learn from Marla. Spend a little time with her and you’ll quickly come to realize that she really knows how to live her best life and is an inspiration to others.

Marla has spent her entire life seeking out creative ways to improve the quality of her life and the lives of those around her. In fact, she is the single best curator of good ideas and products I know. I’m always scribbling notes or placing Amazon orders on the spot when I’m with her. She is the person who best personifies the idea stated by the poet Diane Ackerman, who said, “I don’t just want to live the length of my life; I want to live the breadth of it as well.”

Once again, Marla showed me that the best visits and best conversations are the ones you come away thinking about. I came back from the Hamptons ready to slow down a bit and start doing those little things that really make life special!

Here are some of the things I learned about living my best life after spending the weekend with Marla:

“Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful.”—William Morris. Seek out the items you enjoy and get rid of the rest. Once you’ve done this, you create a “sense of space.” Marla’s home is full of those little touches that make it feel inviting. She provides in your room a magazine rack filled with stories you really want to stop and read. Her home has a distinct feel because she has found ways to add character to an already beautiful place.

Living well is about paying attention to the details. Figure out which details make you happy. Pick and choose the details that should be special, but also know the things that aren’t as important to you and let them go.

Remember, “simple” makes all good things possible. Marla has an effortless sense of style, full of super-cute and comfortable clothing and a low-maintenance haircut. She can be ready in a jiffy, which gives us more time to chat or enjoy a drive to the beach. Everything in her house is simple and easy to use!

A beautiful table sets the stage for a wonderful dining experience. It takes only a second and it totally changes the atmosphere. (Most of us eat on the run and miss out on this.) Set your table with beautiful, colorful dishes; cloth napkins; color-coordinated placemats; and use glassware and serving platters at every meal. It makes each meal feel really special.

Make your guests comfortable. Marla’s guest room is beautiful and inviting—the perfect home away from home! Whenever you’ll be having houseguests, make sure the linens are nice and that your guests have plenty of nice hangers for their clothes. Ask them if they are allergic to flowers and, if not, place a fresh bouquet on the dresser. Marla surprised me with flowers grown in her own garden. Finally, check that the temperature is to their liking for sleeping.

Have a few great go-to salads and wonderful marinades. Fresh food is good for you and also such a treat! Marla’s salads not only taste amazing but they are bursting with color to make a wonderful summer dining experience. A few great marinades can turn chicken and shrimp into a culinary masterpiece with very little effort!

Have a great playlist. A well-curated playlist sets the tone for a fun evening with friends or a lazy morning sipping coffee—and everything in between. Find some songs that fill you with happiness and see if they infuse some more joy into your daily activities.

Develop good habits and practice them consistently. There’s no silver bullet when it comes to finding the “best” habits; it’s the practice of smaller, consistent habits that make a real difference in your life. Since I’ve known Marla, she’s been really consistent about the little things that pack a big health punch…drinking plenty of water, focusing on healthy foods, staying out of the sun, and paying close attention to what her body is telling her. She’s such an inspiration to me!

Treat others well. Everywhere I went with Marla and Barry, I noticed people were very happy to see them. From the restaurant owners to the waitstaff, Marla and Barry treat everyone they meet well. It’s clear that they value relationships and care deeply about other people.

Know that flowers make a difference. Pioneering botanist Luther Burbank said, “Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food, and medicine for the soul.” Marla agrees. Her love and appreciation of flowers reminded me that it’s important to pause and appreciate beautiful things. She cuts flowers from her garden and places them in your room. Since my visit, I’ve paid so much more attention to how flowers and plants can beautify and brighten a space.

Be careful about who you let into your circle. Marla has a wonderful circle of friends, and it is clear that she nurtures each friendship to keep it healthy and strong. But in the interest of self-care, you should never struggle to maintain something that isn’t a good fit.

Be a good partner. Marla is a shining example of what it means to be a great partner. She and Barry work together like a well-oiled machine in the kitchen and in life. It’s really inspiring to see the two of them together!

The best part about adopting Marla’s best life philosophy is that it’s all about making little changes. It’s not a massive overhaul of your routine or values. But believe me, the changes are transformative nonetheless, and they will greatly improve your life. So if Marla invites you to join her for a weekend getaway, go! You’ll return with a great new perspective and some wonderful ways to enhance your happiness.