Finding Balance in Your Life—and Making Peace with It

Finding balance in our lives makes us more peaceful, joyful, and intentional in our choices. The first life area, or “Balance Zone,” we’ll be exploring is physical health. I chose to start with the realm of physical health because it is the area of our lives that most impacts every other area of our lives. So, let’s jump right in and start learning how to feel our very best each day.

Balance Zone # 1: Physical Health

Consciously and unconsciously we spend most of our days assessing whether one or more parts of our bodies are healthy. Maintaining good physical health is crucial to living a well-balanced life. When your body is healthy, you can do your best at work and maintain stronger relationships with those in your life. Unfortunately, physical health is one area where it’s very easy to fall out of balance. For a variety of reasons, we go through periods where we eat all the wrong foods or stop exercising. And then sometimes, we simply become sick or injure a part of our body and must take some time to recover. Regardless of your current health status, you can achieve better balance by (1) choosing better habits and (2) developing routines that reflect best practices for your age and your goals. 

I wanted to start by sharing a little of my own health journey and how it has impacted my life lately. I have been living with Lyme disease for the past eighteen months. This illness has affected my life in big and small ways. As a result, I have learned to redefine what balance looks like for me while navigating symptoms and medications, and living a temporarily slower pace of life.

The Lyme disease I manifested resulted in continual bronchial infections (the weakest part of my body), and I had to take several rounds of antibiotics to treat them. I am eternally grateful that my very astute internist listened carefully to my symptoms—particularly my extreme fatigue—and that I was treated with the right antibiotic within three weeks of my symptoms appearing. A year later, my doctor ran tests for Lyme disease as well as a variety of other conditions I had never heard of. I am happy to say that everything was negative, so I was very lucky to be treated so early with the correct antibiotic.

During this time, my doctor supported my recovery in other ways. She helped me make some dietary changes, and also recommended that I take a break from exercising, which was no fun at all for this gym-loving gal. However, my reprieve from the gym was necessary. It took me a year to build up my immune system and my strength so I could get back to my workouts.

While I am now finally back in the gym and feeling more like myself every day, I have gained a deeper respect for the healing habits needed to care for ourselves in times of stress and the importance of finding the right balance we need during good times and hard times.

Your health circumstances are probably different from mine, but the lessons I learned over the past year apply to anyone as they go through life. Injuries, illnesses, and even diseases can appear out of the blue and throw us wildly off course. When a health challenge occurs, your picture of balance may need to shift temporarily or even permanently. Whether you’re regrouping after a knee or shoulder replacement, recovering from an injury, or fighting cancer or another serious illness, it is imperative to seek the best medical and nutritional advice you can find while examining, with your advisors, what balance might look like as you make adjustments and choose the habits that will help you become your healthiest self in this present moment. 

Here are some pointers I learned that might help you find balance on the road to better physical health, no matter where you are in your journey.

Start off with a healthy body audit. The first step in getting healthier is pausing to assess how you feel right now. Ask yourself these questions: “Do I feel good right now?” “Am I happy with how I feel most of the time?” “Do I feel strong and capable?” “Do I have enough energy to make it through the day or do I find myself losing strength as the day progresses?”

If most of your answers are “yes,” think about what you are doing right (and keep doing those things). Further, consider whether new habits might help you continue to thrive. If the answer is “no,” don’t worry. There are plenty of painless ways to nurture your body so it can perform at its best. You’ll see a few suggestions below.

Wildly out of balance? Forgive yourself, first and foremost. If your physical health is far from where you would like it to be, forgive yourself immediately—and commit to giving yourself the nurture and self-love that you need to make healthy changes in your life. Negative self-talk will only hold you back from better health. Remind yourself of what you love about yourself and add something new to the list each day. It is difficult to develop new habits that will help us when we don’t focus on the positive good it will engender once our new habits are making us feel better.

Cook most of your meals at home. Restaurant food can be heavy in salt, fat, and sugar.But when you eat homecooked meals, you control the ingredients in your meals and can focus on healthful ingredients. If possible, aim to cook most of your food at home and save those restaurant meals for special occasions. You will quickly notice the difference.

Start the day off right…with a plateful of veggies. Adding lots of veggies to your breakfast plate helps ensure that you consume your recommended daily servings of vegetables. (Work with your doctor to determine your recommended vegetable intake.) Even if your subsequent meals are light on veggies, you will have already started the day off right with a healthy foundation.

My doctor helped me come up with a meal plan that requires me to eat several small portions of beans daily, along with ample veggies and proteins. I use breakfast to get a head start on these requirements by doing the following: First, I like to sauté a large handful of spinach and scramble in an egg once it wilts. Then I add a small portion of protein-rich beans to the plate. Finally, I include one more vegetable like broccoli or asparagus. My new “typical” breakfast keeps me full into the early afternoon and gives me plenty of energy until my next meal.

Be on the lookout for hidden sugars in your food. There are good reasons why medical researchers and doctors now recognize that, for most of us, sugar is “poison.” It’s a good idea to monitor your sugar intake, because excess sugar consumption can lead to weight gain and a range of health problems. You likely already know to go easy on the desserts and soft drinks. But be aware that added sugar can also hide out in foods you may not suspect, such as fruit-flavored yogurt, smoothie shop drinks, coffee drinks, sauces and marinades, and other savory dishes. Talk to your physician about how much sugar is acceptable for your diet and be sure to read labels so you are 100 percent sure of what you are eating.

Enjoy healthful snacks. Choosing unhealthy snacks like cookies and chips can derail a healthy diet and counteract your workout efforts. But you don’t have to give up snacking altogether; just make sure you are snacking on foods that pack a nutritional punch. Some tasty snack ideas include:

• Half an avocado sprinkled with sea salt
• Oven-roasted nuts topped with spices and herbs or salted cashews 
• A low-sugar green smoothie or juice sweetened with fresh ginger and half an apple
• Sliced cucumber topped with a few spoonsful of hummus or another bean dip

Splurge on the foods you love (once in a while). It’s important to stick to a healthy meal plan most of the time. But if you have a craving for your favorite dessert or comfort food, there’s usually nothing wrong with indulging an appropriately sized portion without a lot of guilt or worry. I eat fairly healthy most of the time, so it doesn’t worry me that I enjoy a glass of wine and an occasional ice cream cone in the summer. It’s all about moderation! But remember: If you have questions about healthy carbohydrate or sugar consumption, speak to your nutritionist or doctor.

Seek (and more importantly, heed) expert advice. If you need some healthy habits to get you started on the road to better health, don’t hesitate to contact an expert. A visit with a health coach, a nutritionist or physician, or a personal trainer can give you valuable personalized feedback. Ask all your friends and relatives—and your medical team—for recommendations and interview them to find the one who relates to your issues. But it works only if you value their expertise and listen to them. So be prepared to follow their advice to the letter.

Here’s an example of why this is important: As previously mentioned, my Lyme disease manifested in multiple bronchial infections that wouldn’t go away. When this occurred, my doctor advised me to temporarily stop exercising to enable my body to recover. However, I felt certain I would soon feel better without altering my normal routine. I kept working out hard, and to my surprise, my sore throat and other symptoms persisted. I realized my doctor had been right. I stopped working out in the gym and restricted my exercise to walking and gentle stretching for a while. Sure enough, my throat fully healed and I continued to follow my doctor’s orders to the letter until I fully recovered. This experience also taught me that walking and stretching alone is a great exercise—it’s all about doing what you can do, not what you wish you could do.

Choose a sustainable fitness routine. Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to fit in an intense workout every day.Create a workout schedule that you can truly stick with—and balance strenuous workouts with more relaxed exercise. A balanced schedule might entail moderate to heavy cardio workouts twice a week with a gentle yoga class in between. And if you don’t currently get much physical activity, remember, it’s never too late to get started and reap the benefits of exercise. In fact, a new study revealed building muscle in your seventies and eighties is just as possible for non-exercisers as master athletes.

Here’s what I do to stay active: I do the Egoscue Method of stretching exercises five to seven days a week. I work out with a trainer two times a week (more on that below!), concentrating on strength and balance, and I also walk 50,000-60,000 steps each week.

Work on accepting “what is.” Over time, you may notice that you don’t look or feel as great as you once did. For example, many women gain a few extra pounds around their midsection in middle age and have trouble getting rid of it. A little weight gain is a normal part of aging, and it is healthy to accept this fact and be comfortable with it. You can still work out and watch what you eat to maintain overall health and reach healthy weight loss goals. There’s no need to wage war on your body with extreme exercise or diets. Instead, work on accepting and loving yourself the way you are right now. And as a reminder, you can dress in a way that disguises problem areas. Loose empire-waisted tops and shift dresses are flattering, and column dressing (wearing one color from head to toe) is a universally slimming technique.

Get plenty of sleep. Restful sleep is crucial for overall well-being. Aim to get whatever amount of sleep your body needs (for most people, this is around seven or eight hours a night), but don’t beat yourself up if you sometimes fall short. I have come to understand that my body requires eight hours of sleep; if I get six hours, I just don’t function well. And, if I can occasionally get in nine or ten hours, I love how rested it makes me feel. I am a champion sleeper!

A few guidelines to ensure you get enough quality sleep:

• Use a sound spa to block out ambient noise.
• Turn the thermostat down a couple degrees at nighttime.
• Wear an eye mask or put up blackout curtains to keep outside light from seeping in.
• Avoid screen time for an hour before bed and try not to watch anything on TV that will get you overexcited.
• Create a nighttime ritual to relax you. Do some gentle yoga poses, read a book, or sip some caffeine-free herbal tea as you wind down.

I’m excited to report that after a year (that’s right, an entire year) of abstaining from strenuous workouts, I returned to the gym a few weeks ago to workout with my longtime trainer, Jose. Recently, we were talking about my progress since I started working out with him again.  Jose was amazed that I was still in pretty good shape for not having worked out for that amount of time. I attribute my resilience to doing lots of gentle walking, stretching, and generally staying active during my gym hiatus.

Still, it is easy to be critical and judgmental about our bodies, particularly as we age.  I told Jose I probably could lose a few pounds. We discussed that my range of weight has been 13 pounds since high school until now, with the highest weight being in college. Of course, I also know I have a lot more muscle now from being so active and doing some weight training. All things considered, my plan is to move forward with reasonable health and weight goals and to enjoy my life in the process.

Here’s what my workout schedule looks like for me: I work out two days with my trainer each week and try to go into the gym one day on the weekend. For me that is finding a happy balance. My main goal these days is to be healthy and strong, not be a certain size or weight. And I am feeling great, which makes me very happy. I know I don’t have to work out five or six days a week to make up for not working out for over a year.

Over the course of our lives, we will all experience some health challenges sooner or later. But finding balance is the key to being resilient and returning sooner to a state of overall wellness after any setback. Seeking good health is a lifelong journey in balance, and you will need to continually check in with yourself to assess whether your habits are contributing to or detracting from your health.

 I hope you feel excited to go on this journey with me. Next month, we will explore a different life area and find ways to move toward thriving in that realm. As always, I welcome your comments that speak to your approach to this important area of our health.